The battle field to being awake

Am i dreaming, still continuously in that sleep mode, that we all call sleep, or am I really awake and actually living this reality of a life. I guess when we refer to dreaming, its like an amazing unstoppable life that we’ve always wanted and it must be amazing, not so boring or mundane, well dreaming for me seems like a  thing that does not exist or am I still sleeping whilst I write this. So am I awake or am I sleeping, because honestly I have no clue. I go through the motions of life, never really registering what the hell is actually going on, I blink out when someones trying to talk to me. All I can think about is clouds, even when I feel my eyes closing, something within me, like the motherboard to a computer drive, switches on and still humms, while I close my eyes, So technology I’m not actually sleeping I’m just in darkness mode. I never feel like I actually sleep. In darkness mode, my eyes close for an hour then they are open for another half an hour, then I go back into darkness mode for another two then bam I’m up again and into a cycle we go. Have you ever been so tired that you feel yourself drifting even though your eyes are wide open, have you ever been so tired that you feel sick with tiredness. I know full well I don’t function well when I’m tired, I literally feel as if I’m a sleep, yet I must be awake right? Am I seriously awake?