written words

As I stare at this shed, the representation of a new meaning, a new beginning, I imagine the life that could have been, I imagine tearing it to shreds. There, just in those thoughts alone are a confliction of my inner world.

As I shiver outside I imagine what it must be like for the poor, the unfortunate that have nothing apart from the breath that they utter, but it doesn’t make me weep. Infact it makes me think unkind things.

How did you get there? Why are you in that situation? Why do you have nothing? Surely you didn’t try hard enough?

I guess some people are oblivious to what journey they are on. I guess some are not aware that one single thought, feeling, yes, no, choice, chance sets you on a path/course.

So I guess you could say if you have a problem or a situation you are currently in, it could have been easily avoided if when the first beginnings of the situation arose you could have dealt with it then. But I guess as every life is our own why should we consider others around us. that’s why so many appear selfish but I feel that many don’t actually realise the significant some people play in others lifes. I guess its down to the individuals feelings about someone.

Its like why do I take it so personal, so angry, when someone doesn’t hear me?

The simple answer is I want them to actually hear me, to actually care.

Some could say my life is fine

Some could say my life is falling apart

But both of those opinions are based on observing points of views. No one actually asks How are you. Don’t get me wrong many people do everyday, but how many actually truly care.

Lifes infuriating, people are precious.

Lifes a choice

Clock continues to tick whatever the choice.

The heart continues to beat whatever the feeling

maybe I’m not being loud and clear here

Maybe my indecisiveness conflicts my feelings

Thousands of souls are continuously lost

Thousands go unheard

I’m just one more, why would I be any different

Life continues even when you fall out with someone

Life continues even when you lose someone

Life continues even when you are alone

What do you want from life? You are all alone

We cry, we weep, its utterly soul destroying, So soul destroying I fall to my knees. We are surrounded by people, we shouldn’t be so alone. I continue to cry and weep always on my own. No ones here to pick me up and put me on my feet. I , me, do that all alone. I continue even when I truly don’t want too. I have nothing to weep for. I have no reason to feel so depleted. I have no reason, no excuse to feel the way that I do. Its infuriating when I feel like this, which is nearly everyday, yet the sadness always out ways.

The choice is yours to live or to live

What you do everyday, what you miss out on, who you speak to

Most importantly its how you treat number one, I don’t like being number one.

Word

As thousands of you gather in celebration, to celebrate the completion of yet another year, or for many to say goodbye to a year they felt wasnt exactly good to them. It’s as if they say goodbye to a year, when in fact you only say good bye to another day. I know it can be a little puzzling but tomorrow is just going to be another day, just like all your previous days in the past year. You just happen to be entering a new time hop. Nothing changes. You still get light, you still get presented with new choices, new opportunities. The only thing different is the fact that you present your mind with new chances, as you see tomorrow with a new ending number, to start over again, but that’s what every day represents. Everyday is a new day, it may be the same to some but that will only be because you havent chosen to do anything different for yourself. We sometimes look at change as having to be a big structural thing, when in fact in can be a minor thing, something as small as making your bed in the morning. Just little things can lead to a big change by the end of the day or the end of the days that you choose to count(year). Everything happens in time or overtime. Nothing happens instantly. Everything’s a process, it’s what you choose to do. So tomorrow is a new day, at the end of that day you can celebrate your small step of change, your simple achievements. Everyday should be celebrated for your small achievements.

we live to be who we want to be as individuals,

 

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As my day comes to an end, I think of the travel times, the goodbyes, the job changes, the things i learnt about myself and about who i am in this very moment. There is so much more out there for me. My problems of living in fear still cloud my judgements, still play a major role within my live and they probably will for a little while longer. My emotions are higher than ever before, I’m more concerned about proving that I can live to others, than appreciating who i am for myself. I use to be happy to be at home on my own, not having to do much but only discovering the things that i wanted to discover for my own discovery, but of late i no longer enjoy the companies that i use to have, i no longer enjoy simply doing nothing as i feel like I’m currently being criticised for the life that I live and lead, for the choices that I make. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to continuously be on my own, I don’t want to always act or come across as a reluctant child who is uncomfortable with herself. But that’s just the ways things are at the moment. I wish to be comfortable with who I am, to do the things i dream off without having to constantly be on edge or worried what others think about me. If I chose not to think i would be comfortable, I know i can be. I keep seeing a vision, whether its due to be seeing so many similar images or not, I keep seeing in my mind eyes, backpack on my shoulders no phone no connection, just simply seeing the earth for what is presented in front of me. Endless green earth, mountains, blue sky. Wherever this image maybe, its one i constantly dream. Heres to another day, whats going to be different?

Difference of Opinions, Life

We all have one. We are given one from the time we first inhale air, but we just don’t know it. We start off our early years clinging to our mumma bears, protected by our roaring fathers. We look to those who care for us, to show us a way of life. To see a hint of life through them. We rely on them to keep us breathing, for us to live. The we learn or see a spark of life in another.

Everyones different, we all have different minds and ideas of how we want to be, how we feel our world should be. Therefore we should live for ourselves, no other. Classing yourself as selfish but its living for you, and you alone.

Some of us find it easy to just fly, to spread their wings with no thought to others. Guess they are truly living. Some of us need a helping hand. Like a mother holding a toddlers hand across the road. Some need to be shown the way. Shown to the light of what living can be like. Some of us simply just don’t want to do it alone.

We all have different opinions of life, of the value of living.

Some people are content with the simpleness. Others thrive, live for the extreme.

Would you say simpliness isn’t really living to the full, but what happens if that said person feels happy with the way they are. But then the adventurous could be classed as too insane, dangerous for life. That they don’t value the greatness to be able to simply be.

We all have different opinions on the way others should live. Maybe we should direct those opinions into ourselves, start heeding our advice that we give, and start living life that we voice.

But theres always contradictions, things that pop up and stop us from breathing.

The simple main one would be money. Followed by duties and loyalty that we feel to others. You could call them ties, or strings that keep us grounded, but with ties stopping us from doing what we so desire, means we aren’t living for ourselves, we are living for others.

That doesn’t mean say to the family that you did desire, and that you created, to just up and leave and start living for yourself. That would be classed as complete difference, right?

Its the early years, the time of given freedom that should consider life, living it fully for yourself.

What would you deem living?

We all probably know someone who isn’t quite content with their life, or well simply not happy. Yet why don’t they do something about it? Why don’t they try to make something worth living. Why don’t they smile? Maybe if a happy bee buzzed in, showed them a sparkle, they might just see a difference.

Some of us have to be shown or want to be shown a way.