Lets talk, words are affiant enough, at least its some sort of communication. what am I talking about. I have such a hard time talking to people yet its the one thing that I yearn for, yet I cant seem to do it with ready available people, due to me not seeing their honesty. its always the fake people that are ready to hear you out, that’s because its juicy gossip. I don’t want to be juicy gossip. I want someone to hear me out, even if its a load of shit, even if it doesn’t make sense. I so badly want someone to hear me out. I don’t want it to be with someone who just looks at you blankly as though they don’t care. the deep connection. the understanding look. a good listener, which you cant seem to get these days. no one gives a hoot anymore. its why I’m so angry, supressing emotions are killing me. I don’t want to hold them in anymore, but its always been my way. ive done it for ten years. I want to let someone in but I cant, then I reason with myself no one cares anyway, because if they did theyd contact you first or change their priorities, but no one ever does. I know I’m no fun. id like to be, but id like to be completely different but I’m not and I don’t think that it will ever be. I need an explosive shake up, but that’s not going to happen. sorry love but youre on your own.