Koh phangan

Arriving on a rocky boat, reminded me slightly of the sinking titanic. We weren’t sinking we were just swaying just a little. Making it in one piece we arrived safely at the place we are staying. Coco garden resort. Placed along the beach.
The island is more remote than koh Samui, whether that’s due to low season, it not being busy. It’s an island to just lay back and relax. As some of you may know koh phangan is known as the party island. Looking at a map there is plenty of places that holds well know big parties for the travellers. They are expensive in the Thai money. Some are placed along the beach, some are in the middle of the jungle.
We came for the experience of the half moon party. It’s an experience all right. The set up is wow, placed in the jungles, but it’s just wow. Flashing lights, beat of the music thumping through the air. Feeling the base of the music through the soul of your feet. It was good. We went to a hostel down the road before heading to the moon. To meet people, which in some sense we did. Drinking to make friends. Not exactly being yourself, meeting people when you are drunk, I never really understand. The hostel was loud and packed with people. I know for a fact if I was staying their on my own I wouldn’t have liked it. My first thought at seeing the place was, I hope not all hostels are like that. If they are, I’m not going to last long. I get that it’s a great way to meet people, through drinking, but I don’t see why you have to drink to meet people. It seems like a requirement.
Jam packed taxi ride to the moon party
After swaying to the beat until four in the morning we decided to leave. Leaving in style on a back of a Bike.
Koh phangan is so far the chilled island, as in matter of fact we are chilling by the beach. I like the calmness from Bangkok or any city but the calmness gives me too much time to think. That’s not exactly a good thing

How do you feel about that?

Just get on with it
Brutal. Is it possible to feel more than lost before? I’m not hundred percent how I feel. I haven’t gotten far as its only been a week. An amazing, different week at that. You can defiantly say it’s been an eye opener in some extent. I know I’m not going to change, some days are going to be hard some days are going to be good. I don’t have a sense of direction, I think that’s why I feel more lost than ever before. Before I had the ability to turn around and stay doing what I did before but now I’m on the road to somewhere I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. Every time I pick up the phone I feel connected to the past. It’s not necessary a bad thing but it feels with phone in hand I’ve never left, I’m just on holiday. I might be seeing, visiting places but this isn’t a holiday. So what do I do?

I like the sense that everyday is different, doesn’t mean I have to do something everyday. 

Princess is still too high, too tight. But if it all goes, nothing to show, I’ll have to find a ways of alternative. Like what though?


So as I’ve said, as well as keep going on about how long I’ve done this for, even though in some sense feels longer. It’s been a week, the body’s struggles. Back aches, haven’t a clue why. My calves are stiff with every move, especially the left. Can’t really understand why that is, it’s not like I’m running anymore. Which in some sense I miss. So I thought maybe it could be all the bites that keep appearing on my body. Who knows. I’m not a big fan of getting pissed but it seems like a slight requirement. Obviously drinking too much makes my insides burn. So the body takes a toll every now and then.
Like the feel of feeling unclean, no longer fresh. But are we ever fresh? Like the sense of skin being tickled on the underside, yet no proof to what’s upon my skin. Just feel the need for a good scrub. I also feel like I miss food, yet I eat every day, choose what I wish, yet it never hardly seems to satisfy me. So how can you miss food, when you have food?

Koh samui

Koh samui does indeed have the most, how do I say this, unknown airport I have ever seen. I’ve never been to an island before, so maybe this does happen in the other places like the Philippines, is that even an island? Its unknown to be but for a newbie its out of this world crazy. Its like arriving on paradise in some sense. So small and remote yet has a beauty about it. Maybe because its something I’ve never seen before. Feeling slighty dodging on arrival due to stomach bug, something obvs went strong in bangkok, wasn’t exactly in high spirit. I could be negative and say, when am I ever in high spirits, oopps I said it. Never mind, guess its part of my personality. So koh samui, the island started talking and welcomes us into a high shower rain led by a thunderstorm. Tropical. Not really realising where our place of stay was, slightly remote but a few minutes walk to a local village. So it wasn’t too bad but obvs lead to discussion within limited time to what we can explore for the following day. As it goes all seems to be fine but then again plans do change. I like the sense that travelling can be fun and exploring ability. To have the chance to people watch, see the customs of locals, they aren’t that different from bangkok. Maybe slightly different as they do like an inside joke when they know they are ripping of travellers. What can you do, punch them in the face, guess that would be a little uncalled for. As we are on an island, I have never been to one before as stated, but I’m guess as I’m seeing first hand that the islands are a little more expensive than Bangkok the city. Which is to be expected. I know Thai baht is cheap to the pound, but your not living the English money at the current moment your living the Thai money. The whole currency money does confuse me. I just live by it when I’m in it, if that makes sense. Anyway so first impression of koh samui, its more laid back than bangkok but nice. I like that it gives you the chance to look out into the sea and just be. Nothing wrong with staring out into the ocean, just seeing.
Islands are tropical aka humid, that’s probs an obvious thing. Its peaceful in the mornings, its a great place to have a stroll along the beach at 8am in the morning before anyone else is up and about, that’s humans. The dogs on the other hand are more out and about in the morning. A long with our stroll along the sand we hand a guided local aka doggy. Very loyal to the end of our stroll. It was very humbling in a way. Miss the sense of a dog walking by your side, it was nice to be reminded of what its like. I think in some way the dog would have liked to spend the day with us, maybe that’s just me a doggy mind. The atmosphere is less livily than in bangkok but it has a nice twist to it. Not many people start their day until 11 here, so its nice to have the quiet of the nature for a few hours.
As I’m travelling its nice to hear from people back home, obviously very blown away with the sight of pictures that seem to be popping up on the internet turf. At times I just wish…. I’m not realy sure. Trying for a more positive vibe today. I do like being on my own, whether that’s due too always having been, but at times I don’t. But I know if I had started out this journey on many own it would have never happened. I’m very grateful for the is chance of a life, but I know it doesn’t seem like it. Island is lovely. Its just….
Food is, I want to say lush but its not really the word I’m looking for. The food is indeed more flavoured than I’ve had in a long time, but in a sense I miss the freshness of vegetables. Guess I’m still looking for a rememberable meal, so far I would say it would have been the salad in Dubai. Fried chicken house salad. It had a nice twist to it. Might just see what I can come across later today.
The sun isn’t out but its humid enough to appreciate the weather, guess my mind might change later on.
Spend the day touring, seeing some of what koh samui has to offer. Spending a long afternoon with a funny day safria group. Wasn’t anything funny about it, it was just called that. Started of visiting a big Buddha temple, yep another temple, Thais are religious. It was on our list to see, which is always good. Its huge, like high huge on a step of mountains, but these steps are baby steps. For some reason in Thailand they have little steps and lots of them, not sure why that is. It was the same in bangkok. The temple wasn’t very impressive, just big Buddha high on steps but it was good to see, like I said it was on the list to see.
We then when to the part where all animal entertainment happened. I like animals and they always intrigue me, but when I was seeing this, obviously they train these animals but you never know the extend to how they train them. You could ask, but of course they are going to lie. Wasn’t exactly comfortable watching most of iit but it was part of the programme. The one thing that did amaze me was the elephant trek. We didn’t go far into the jungle or anything like that. The place is set in the nature zone though. A good experience. The fact that you can say ypouve Ben on elephant is wow. It is indeed another thing I wanted to do. It’s again how are some of these elephants treated as looking around a few were changed. These animals aren’t exactly going to be free. Within the animal entertainment we saw a baby elephant show, were they danced to music, monkey show, a very reluctant tied money.crocodile show, showing a mans stupidity. The shows in some way was about the people get more tips, even though you had paid for the day of seeing and doing these things.
The two things I did enjoy about within the safrai rride 4*4 drive ride, where you got to sit on top on the actual car, driving ridiculously fast through out back roads. Mind you, you did end up with leaves slapping you in the face. It was a smile good thing tho. The other was seeing the waterfall. I’d like to say it was within the heart of the jungle. Heat of humidity beating of you as you climbed the rocky forum of a path in flip flood, not exactly great food wear. Like baby babi taking first steps, but obviously a lot heavier. It was a good feeling to finally have reached the waterfall and just see. So it was a busy day but a good day. Weather stayed at bay until the final leg of drive home, heavy pours of shower struck again but didn’t last long. Giving us the ability to go out and enjoy another Thai meal. This time I went for a spicy curry. It was nice, pudding was a slight disappointment but never mind.
So koh samui has come to an end. How do I feel?

Endless time

I have nowhere to be or anyone to be, yet who am I? Why do you travel, is it because you are lost or so alone, yet is it both?
What do you want to be? Who are you? You explore to discover to see and be. Yet is it what you really want or are you feeling as if you haven’t done eenough? Why be hard on yourself when no one seems to care. Well some do, its just never in the satisfying mind of dramticness for you. You want to be like the pics you see on Instagram , seeing people you once knew through Facebook, enjoying life. Yet have you ever thought that photos are deceiving? You like to do things your way, you like to be alone. It is hard to adapt and change of slight, but that is what learning life is all about, right? I’m happy for me, I know it doesn’t show. Sometimes its hard, you can’t sect an instant change of adaption. Today’s a hard day for me alone, its hard to control and yes some days it shows. I can’t change the way I am all the time for others. My intention isn’t to ruin chances or ruin other experience. Its just hard to change or let myself go. I have an inner battle with self, so to have one on the outer life too, sometimes gets exhausting. I just can’t seem to let go, but what the hell am I hanging on for. I have nothing of my past ways to show the why’s. I don’t have the emotions that I wisehd to have and its now too late to have what I needed. I’m just a ball of internal angry, but I’m working on me

The yuck 

The yuck ….-bad breathe -smell -sleepless -bad taste -yucky leg -ingrown hair

In two minds to whether i should post something so unnatural. It’s not like every day you read a post that is so yucky. Even I’m grossed out by it and it’s happening to me, guess that’s s travels journey for some. I never did expect travelling to be clean, it’s just I feel yucky. I feel the need to write about it even if it is disgusting. Everyone gets smelly it’s about to happen. It’s just you become aware of it. Like do I smell, ah I don’t really care. It’s the bad taste in my mouth that’s slightly getting to me. It’s not like I’ve eaten anything horrible. Hardly eaten to be honest. Maybe it’s all the fruity drink but surely that would leave your mouth feeling fresh as it is fresh fruit not tasting like a gagging order. Who knows. Been bitten like no other, just one tasty leg. Looks kinda dodgy 

Ingrown hair the annoyance of being a girl. I’m not saying guys don’t get them. They probably do but I’m sure it’s more commander for girls as you have to shave most of the time. Not a lot of people like hair do they. But what can you do. Fussy brain, smelly farts, the inability to be clean like a squeaky clean princess, never gonna be the case. Peeling feet, with lumpy blisters. Air of smell that blows every time you speak. Damn I’m so appealing. At least I have the ability to wash my hair. Gotta be thankful for something, right? 

Travellers of bangkok

next to the travels is bangkok, title give a way. its a complete differences in every way possible. from the culture, atmosphere. there is nothing wrong with bangkok, its just a shock to the system. but if you have to compare bangkok to Dubai, Dubai provides is self on appearance, cleanness, appearance. bangkok has a lot of people. its by far very different, but in all ways. being out within five mins of the town you can instantly see over travellers. the difficult we faced was getting the taxi driver to understand us, he was kind and helpful. that’s all you can be thank for. now the question is, is Thailand really cheap or is is peoples minds on thinking that its cheap due to the way they think it is when always comparing it to the pound. why do tourist do that? it probs makes you feel better. but being in this culture, is it not to try and see the ways of how Thai people live. I haven’t really got a clue what I’m talking about. I am half kinda pissed on the bottle load of drinks. probs a rookie mistake due to the money ways of tourist traps. it does make you wonder tho. with Dubai a taxi fair from town to hotel was the same price for food. how does that work!? Im certainly getting different vibe feels for bangkok. haven’t been here that long to know whether that’s good or not. maybe I just need a real good poo. oh and I’m hungry, as alway, so Bangkok as I’ve stated a dozen times is very different to Dubai, then again so is every human. I don’t want to sound like a mardy arose but I usually do. What’s travelling for you? To loose yourself, to see other cultures or to get wasted and well not feel great the next day. I’m a silent bunny and I know for a fact that it’s one reason why people find me so ‘understandable’ but I’m just silent. I like to watch and see things. I talk to myself inside my mind, nothing wrong with that. It’s just miner agreements. I guess I could improve on the talking front but I only say things if I need too. Everyone has different views I get that. Bangkok is okay, it’s a city, it’s a buy buy place or walk walk walk. Again nothing wrong with that. For if you know what to do it’s different, it’ll you know where the it is then it’s different. If you know where to go then it’s different, but we are travellers after all therefore we don’t know where we are going it is going to be buy buy and walk walk walk. What else can you do unless there’s a guide to travelling the expert way. I’m not an expert and I don’t want to be an expert. I want to simply cut the Internet goodbye, as it feels I have no one, sit in a mountain or some field and relax, just watch the world go bye. Yeah I know the world runs in money and we need it to survive but surely we don’t need it to have fun or just be. There’s got to be things that don’t cost that puts you with nature and makes you appreciate the world for what it truly is.
If you want fume filled lungs then by all means go to Bangkok. It’s a business trade for all locals. The hussle and the bussle is there life. It must be a struggle. You can tell in some that it takes a toll, but other Thais are helpfully and friendly as well as talkative as we have experienced in the day. There are some nice people out there. You just have to find them or in some cases be lucky enough to come across them.
Thunderstorms have struck
My life has always been silent, it’s only been recently out since I’ve begun to write.
Still miss the fact that I don’t have a friend, I have a few that come to mind, but I’ve never fully let them in.
So how doe other travellers cope, are they happy all the time, surely not?!! Are they always doing something to their plan do they even have a plan all the time?!? So much expectation but I just have the chill of nothing. I don’t feel the need to do anything even though I am currently being bitten alive. Sometimes I have a motivation to be someone or do something but it looses too easily. I just simply remind myself whatelse do I have to do. It’s only day three emotionally I feel the same but in sense with gratitude for seeing this amazing culture places. Still feel a heavy sense on my dull glazed eyes. Still can’t believe I’m in a different country but I am still me. Guess I’ll always be. Guess it’s time you accept me for the understandable and see that I’m not so understandable after all.
We visited a few temples, wat Ben being one. Being turned away from grand palace due to not wearing the right attire, they like legs to be covered, so maybe a visit tomorrow who knows. The food is so much more flavoured than I have eve tasted in all my life. It’s lush but I’m still hungry. A bargain of a ride on a tuk tuk.
A lot of Thai people what do you expect it is their home land. It would be pretty cool if we could speak their lanuage. Half the time I feel rude, as we Brits can be. Then again I don’t really know Thais customs. Guess it’s thing you learn a long the way as you do about many things.


…. nn

ah I want to be thin, surely there should be something more important on my mind than that. there is, its called I need a job, but I’m kinda reluctant to get one or even think about finding one, as I have no clue where to begin, let alone what I’d like to do. oh and another moan, I’m always constantly hungry, maybe I’ve got worms, or the fact that what I eat is usually determined by price. I’m so annoying I could call myself a dick, yet then I remind myself I have to watch what I eat as my mental mind is now controlled on how my wonder body looks, pure sarcasm there. also with the whole watch what you eat, I have this stomach thing, I call it annoyance. so annoying, but !maybe its all mind numb functioned to stupid made imagination. I’m still travelling by the way, its just still me being me by moaning, where else would I be. but to the talks of what I want to be, I still don’t know. do we ever know who we want to be or who, what to follow?
Travel moans
How do you actually know where you are? Ha I mean you think you know where you are but were you actually. Its a good thing I’m not on my own but then again I wouldn’t be here if I was. There’s defiantly a lot of different view on how a traveller should be or what they do. Then again everyone is different and want to see different things. The heat, muggyness has got to my head or maybe its the fact that I’m doing to much more in a day than I have ever done usually.