Twentyone

Twenty-one days to go, twenty-one days to go till I’m on my way into the unknown that has no eye seeing search. Bounce up and down with wonder joy, yet the unknown, is like stepping into the dark cave. A cave that could be an end, to well, the unknown. Who will I be, what will I be. Still me, seeing new things, experience different culture, to change is all down to how willing am I to embracing the new that becomes around me. Sometimes I wish the counting days were an ending to a bigger darker thing. I guess that’s fear talking. No way to talk about my fear my insecurities. Keeping them in doubles my doubts. I need this, I want this, I think. Appreciate the good cheers, but someone to agree or simple hear my voicing doubts may do wonders on my doubting soul and mind. id like to be many things, but sometimes I ask myself am I wanting to be different for myself or for the people that stare at me with doggy eyes. I miss a conversation a meaningful one, not much you can do now, just see whats out there youll never be alone. Everything will be fine, believe in you, because you are everything to you. Continue to comfort food for now, fill it wth food to avoid the emptiness. Hopefully time and changes, locations will do a differ, or not. Don’t worry, youll always have me, your misery. Hopefully and ending will be in sight to this heavy bleakness for light to enter with the unknown. Glazy eyes for now. Am I really here, or is the chapters of pages currently stuck on repeat. Glazy eyes, mixed feelings of the same bone weariness. Am I really packing or am I just going home. An ending comes for all loneliness and lost minds. is it just for a time or for never to show. Don’t ruin this for him. Don’t shut it down before its begun. Youll never be alone just embrace. Be something, someone even if its not what is looked upon as normal or acceptable. Just be you, be good to yourself, everything else will follow

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