There’s many things that have to be done, have to be achieved to be something, to be someone meaningful for other people, let alone yourself. Simplest things become a task, sometimes too hard to even step out into the world of reality, leaving behind the safety of your home. The few hours out in the public eye makes you a nervous mess, on the inside you feel like you’re going to collapse, that you cant hack it, you cant be here, you simply cant do this anymore.
Its amazing how emotions can consume us, how they take over our entire lifes within a simple second. The way that they dominate our life, make us think, feel, believe in.
We’re all born for one reason, survival, but what we do with our lifes is up to us.
You look around, you hear about people doing these amazing things, from charity events to travelling the world, some even fighting for the career they’ve always dreamt of since they were little. It makes you wonder, what’s so different about them, why am I not like that. Going after what I want, doing something that’s life changing for others or for myself.
The answer is we aren’t different. We are all the same, some people are just too emotional involved in themselves than they are in others. Some people think about others first instead of themselves. People who want to get involved, live out in the world, they aren’t isolating themselves, they aren’t stopping themselves from going after what they so simply desire because of fear.
You ask yourself what’s stopping you? What’s truly stopping you from seeing, discovering the beauty and atmosphere of Australia? Is it really the money, the loneliness, the time, the ability? No its not. If you truly want something, you’ll work damn hard to achieve it. You’ll step out of your comfort zone and go. But you don’t. Instead your here, doing a routine job that mostly likely you’ll have to leave, just so you can breathe and earn and live, but the thought of that sends you in a panic because you don’t want to leave the comfort, the routine that you’ve got, even though the work place can sometimes be a negative downer on your already negative heart.
Your the only one that’s truly stopping yourself. You know, in all sensibility that you need to step out, you need to reach higher just to survive. You know that you cant go on the way your carrying on, because frankly if you do, your not going to be a thing.
This, whatever it is you have, isn’t good enough, its not even that much. Yes you’ve achieved, yes you’ve stayed in one place longer than you ever thought you imagined, but its time to leave. To what? I don’t know. Your better than you realise. Your far better than other people think. You might not have a lot as in people, but its there loss. Its there fault that they are missing out, missing out on the steps, on watching you become a person.
You’ve tried with people, maybe you do give up easily, yes maybe you should continue trying with them, but you need to realise it takes two to try, especially in friendship and family.
Some people are more likeable than others, its the way of the world. You just happen to be a person who isn’t very much liked. Some are just destined to be on there own, that’s why you need to step out and discover yourself before the darkness consumes you whole. Learn to love yourself. We all need it, so why cant we give it to ourselves? At least then it will be returned and you wont have to worry about abandonment.
You might not know what you want to do in the long hull, but different experiences will help you to discover who you want to be. Sitting behind these walls, this screen isn’t going to help you discover you.
The point is, try to find you, because you are a discovery.